Currently I am in the void of life between graduating university and finding work, and or searching for things that link to what I want to do with myself. Apart from living out of a suitcase fro 6 months, and realising that searching for houses on flatshare websites is futile, and frustrating, I have also realised something about myself.
1. I have very little will power
2. I am addicted to the internet. Specifically watching things on said internet.
So being homeless, means that I pretty much am living off of the people I know living in and around england (LONDON). At the moment I am staying with friends of my parents, who are wonderful, but blissfully unattached to watching things online. Therefore they have extremely low bandwith, and I have been asked to "not watch too much" or a little meter on their computer will go into the orange... and then red zone and probably start charging them billions of pounds. Because its most likely a BT connection, and lets face it BT are dicks.
So how does this link into my 2 newfound traits. I shall inform you of that now dear reader. Most of the time I spend on my computer, when I wake up, before I go to bed, all day if i'm inside and don't leave the house, apart from when I'm eating; is spent on the internet. My other applications are void, and don't really see the light of day. I can imagine them all eagerly awaiting to be opened, to get to bounce up and down in the dock with excitement (yes I have a Macbook, and I'm digressing.....)
Out of instinct, second nature, habit, whatever you call it, I can't help but go to youtube and see what my subscribed to channels have given me to watch today. What music is there out there, what are the most watched videos, what television shows have come out that day that I need to catch up on, what trailers are there that I haven't seen yet, or bloopers, or interviews with celebrities about their movies, reviews on new gadgets, watching maru the cat trying to fit into tiny boxes..... the list is endless and grammatically incorrect.
I find myself in the middle of watching a video and realising that "oh... what the hell am I doing...I'm not supposed to be watching anything". Violently clicking away, sad that I closed the tab half way through.
I even went to far as to pay for a day's worth of wifi so I could watch videos online that day.
Readers.... My name is Andrina and I have a problem. I'm like a junkie who needs a fix. A currently unemployed, spends more time watching youtube than applying for jobs, or asking real estate agents to find me a place to live JUNKIE!!!
One of my youtube stalkees, (by that I mean someone who uploads videos of themselves and I watch them religiously, and follow them on their various other social media sites), recently went on a week's haitus from the internet. Literally cut himself off from all of it. That to me, is inconceivable. Which leads me to the conclusion that I have to do it. Ahh... but it's not that simple. Oh poor innocent reader, haven't you been paying attention. Trait number 1... I HAVE NO WILL POWER! It's an endless cycle.
If I didn't have a hard drive filled with things to watch or a kindle to read if all else fails I'd be lost and beating down the doors of internet cafes. I blame caffeine. And george bush.....
Okay maybe just caffeine! It's possible I have ADHD,,,,,,,......********
Well I leave you with this ramble, and baffling puzzle of life's afflictions. It is currently 1:43 am.
I love cupcakes